today i heard some famous writer on the radio say that,"u cant be a writer if u write only in times of sadness.u should be able to write even when u feel happy". i duno y but im drawn towards my blog only when i feeling low....i think of this space in the web as a entity..a person..somewhere where i could jus go n speak my head out n get no opinion on it...dats sometimes nice especially when u have a situation where people bombard u with.."in my opinion...blah blah blah.."

Well today is the 1st day of the month n things r not realy as good as it could be...hey im not the kina person to corelate calender with moods n emotions(ie.1st day was bad so the rest of the month will be bad kina shit!!)no sir,im not dat!life is like a cycle(as cliched as it sounds,i cant help it!)well jus last week i was partying hard and flying high after receiving my GRE scores n here i am today,with a failed deal...i kept reminding my self that now ur reaching a high,which means a low is jus round the corner...but no matter how much u think u'll reduce the jolt but 'warning' urself in advance,the time it hits u,it hits u hard....

This time round,i havent lost 2 much...maybe just a bit of morale..if this deal had gone through,i could have called it "my first successful deal" and to top that,at 19 years.well it jus dint happen...24hrs b4 the d-day,i get the first warnings that things r falling apart n i wont be able to call this deal what i wanted to...wat has been running through my head since this whole ordeal started.but its not until u no know for sure that its failed,does it strike u hard n low that its over..well now i no it is...

i give my self hope that,its not a loss...dat its jus not a gain.ie no win no loss...i guess dats true but i jus dont want to admit dat...i duno y...mabe because i want me to learn fron this whole issue and i'll only do that if i feel that i have lost something...yea maybe that is it...