after watching the movie "the downfall" about adolf hitler,im starting to think wat war does to a person.besides loosing fear for death,it robs a man of many things wch he takes for granted duing peace.no longer does the death of a fellow human hurt u as much as it would hve otherwise.no longer do think wat ur nxt meal is going to be.no longer go u care what d other person thinks of your clothes or the way u carry your self.no longer do u get lost in useless thoughts about oneself and oneself's unnecessary needs....all that matters is survial...right??

i guess not always...as in the case of the nazi's ,winning the war was second only to being ruled by the 'fahler' aka hitler.So blinded were they in his faith that they could not accept another leader besides him....suicide was the only way they could ease the pain of knowing that hitler had lost the war and there would b no berlin for him 2 rule from....death thet did not fear as much as the feared the fahler.

his close aids actually saw a compassionate side of him.the very many who waged a war in wch 50 million people died.including 6 million jews brutally killed in concentration camps....so is it possible to actually be so brutal yet hve a heart kind enough to love kids and feel love for a person?i guess it is....because ,i think nobody is mono characteristic.v are built of layers...differnt layers represent the diffrent sides of us.1 might be the loving father n husband who would do 'anything' to protect his family and the nxt layer might be this cruel cold hearted person who would go to any lengths to secure his wants,may it be conquering the world or clinching a business deal knowing very well that it would kill civilans who too hve a family to love and protect just like he does.

wat is this multi-faceted act?is it selfishness?or greed for happines only for onself?or a confused sate of mind?

y did i chose a black template over the brighter 1's?because black reflects my thoughts right now.....i can think but i cant think wat i think.and i defintely cant rite about wat i think.call me a bad writer,but that y im here...2 bcom a betr 1...or maybe jus to pour out my black thoughts in and endless space called the web,hoping that wat i write might someday make sense to me and some1 else out thr who thinks and feels like me.

i always have this moments once in a while , maybe after watchin a good movie , or after a good conversation or jus maybe an image that provoked me to think a little bit more than one usually does on a normally granted day.these moments always forced me 2 open a book and strt writing but i nvr did....until now....